“Could be renamed the Ralph Challenge now…” – JC
On the day of the challenge it was 36 years to the day I had entered this world and at times throughout this challenge I felt I was close to leaving it.
Let’s flashback for a quick second to my hours of researching and calling establishments throughout the city of Regina to find what I felt was a true burger challenge. I knew, the second I saw a picture of this burger (Rita as we affectionately refer to it), this round was about to be put out of reach.
The Rita is six, 8-ounce patties smothered in cheese and bacon (extra bacon for me as I want no vegetation touching my patties) along with a large poutine that must be consumed in under 60 mins to be rewarded with a shirt and a free meal. In all, 3 pounds of burger and a total of roughly 5.5 pounds of food.
This meal was my Moby Dick, my Everest, my …. Everything. I knew sitting in front of this mound of meat that every decision I had made the last 36 years had brought me to this fateful encounter. It was going to be me or the meat. GAME ON!!!
Side note: Danny Y got the John Candy burger which was a double burger that looked like something my burger would feed on in the wild. I respected DY for knowing his limits. My burger brother was there for moral support and possibly to mop up vomit.
Clermont a week removed from nasal surgery, joined me in the quest. We knew from the get go he was merely there to witness and document the encounter. He fared well eating half the burger and slightly denting his poutine before waving the ketchup stained white flag.
Fast forward… After methodically eating each patty with knife and fork, adding bun every 5th bite while dipping it in ketchup every other bite to keep the tastes varied I was able to crush the burger by the 25 minute mark. I had requested they bring me the large poutine at the 30 minute mark so I did not have to look at it and to keep it fresh. Of course it was brought at the 10 minute mark and other than the occasional bite it was largely ignored until the burger was completed.
For the last 30 minutes I struggled with a coagulated gob of fries, cheese and gravy. I would have sweat my way through it if I had not been so dehydrated from the meat. Instead I stuck to minor tremors and dizziness. I felt I could not continue on with about 10 minutes left. My burger brothers along with our special guest Wayne and encouraging texts from my wife is what kept me chewing.
With a final surge in the last waning minutes – after requesting a quick re-heat of the poutine, which was not a good idea , due to the now hot vomit look of the fries – I was able to ram the last 3 bites into my gullet with about 90 seconds to spare.
I had done it! I had taken down the Rita!
I won’t go into detail about how I felt immediately after and into that evening but all you need to remember is this
What has 2 thumbs, a free shirt and lunch……
This guy does!
The challenge was epic but the burger itself was not very good. It could be that I feel physically ill thinking about it but other than the challenge aspect I would not recommend the burger. We all agreed it was overcooked and lacking much taste or freshness.
Due to the physical and emotional torture we had put ourselves through we held off on the milkshakes until the next day.
The next day I chose McDonald’s Shamrock Shake for obvious St. Patrick’s Day reasons. JC and myself picked them up and brought them to DY.
Have you ever wondered what the slime dumped on people’s heads on the hit 80’s series “You can’t do that on Television” looked and tasted like?
Well wonder no more as the 3 of us took months off our lives simply tasting this vile concoction. It was so bad we all decided a redo was in order so we went back to McD’s and ordered our customary Chocolate flavoured shakes.
They tasted delicious compared to those Shamrock S # @ t shakes we had earlier. They had good consistency, nice taste and obviously not much in the way of extras or appearance.
Overall the Chocolate shakes received a nice ranking and cleansed our palettes of the Shamrock mess.
Danny Y is up last for the challenge round and after dethroning JC there will be a new winner this round
( keep in mind the rankings for the burgers were adjusted giving size and challenge a much higher score than normal and lowering the taste ranking)
Rita Challenge – Great Canadian Brewhouse/ McDonald’s Shake
Burger Avg: 39.67
Shake Avg: 39.17
Cumulative Avg: 78.84
Tune in for Danny Y’s Challenge choice…. Good luck and God Speed